Dear sir
I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy’s not at work today
.
While working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear
Now to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn’t very pleased he being an awkward sod
He said I’d have to cart them down the ladder in me hod
.
Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me
.
So when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down
.
Well the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
Well I clung on tight though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks 14 floors below
.
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round.
.
Well I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I’d passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
Well a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn’t got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope
.
The barrel then being heavier it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
Well it broke 3 ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
I hope you’ll understand why Paddy’s not at work today.