The Smiths were not able to conceive a child and decided to use a surrogate father. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said ‘Well I’m off now, the man should be here soon.’
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door to door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning ma’am’ he said ’I’ve come to…’
‘Oh, no need to explain’ said Mrs. Smith, embarassed ’I’ve been expecting you.’
‘Have you really?’ said the photographer ‘Well that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?’
‘Well that’s what my husband and I hoped. Please come in and have a seat’ After a moment she asked, blushing ‘Where do we start?’
‘Leave everything to me. I usually do two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple in bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.’
‘Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!’
‘Well ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time, but if we try from several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the relults.’
‘My, that’s a lot’ gasped Mrs. Smith.
’Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
’Don’t I know it’ said Mrs. Smith.
The photographer opened his briefcasee and pulled out a portfolio of baby pictures. ‘This one was done on the top of a bus.’ he said.
‘Oh my word!’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider thier mother was so difficult to work with’
‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Smith.
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a look.’
‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
‘Yes’ the photographer replied ‘And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’
’It’s true ma’am, yes…well, if your ready, I’ll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away.’
‘TRIPOD?’
‘Oh yes, ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much to big to be held in the hand very long.’
Mrs. Smith fainted!
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2.1.2p2/897 Wed Nov 26 03:37:31 UTC 2008
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(you must be a member of this group to comment)PoorSpellor
Sep 23 2008 11:29
I can relate!
I gotta get a new tripod!
triplH
Sep 22 2008 13:32
don't be mad at me
Hate on lucy
she started all the right guys
momzpashn
Sep 22 2008 13:31
THAT
was a very long joke…but worth it when you got to the punch line! lmbo
Stewie4me
Sep 22 2008 13:25
For once
I agree with H even though I am mad at him
triplH
Sep 22 2008 12:59
LMAO
now that’s FUNNY!